Change Your Life: Living Skillfully

Today’s post is a difficult one, and at first sight an odd fit for the Positive Psychology series. I’m going to talk about suicide.

The reason is that a relative of mine by marriage has just committed suicide, much to the shock and grief of all of us. He had been going through difficult times and had had a serious psychological break last year, but he seemed to be on the mend. Apparently not.

I live in a country with a high suicide rate, especially among youth. Inevitably, I have been touched by it before, though never so closely. One of my closest friends attempted suicide when we were in our 20s, and fortunately didn’t succeed (he is now pleased that he didn’t, though it took him a while to get to that perspective). I myself, at the lowest point in my life, once had suicidal thoughts for eight days running, but never acted on them. I still had enough perspective left to realize how devastating it would be for my friends and family, and that held me to life long enough for me to escape from the situation (and the pain) by a better way.

I think rather than do my usual technical post, the best thing I can do now is tell a story. Many years ago, there was a king who suffered from terrible mood swings. When he was up, he would rave and make terrible decisions, confident of his own greatness; when he was down, he would sit and do nothing, convinced of his own worthlessness. In modern terms, he was manic-depressive. But this was centuries ago, and the wise men and healers he called to advise him could find no solution for him.

At last his Fool approached him. “My Lord,” he said, “I have had made for you a wonderful ring. Slip it on your finger now, without looking, and next time one of your moods comes upon you, take it off and look inside, and you will see something that may help you.”

The king went along with the Fool and wore the ring. Soon afterwards, he became elated and began striding about, issuing grandiose orders – until he remembered the ring, slipped it off, and looked inside. Immediately, he became calmer.

A little later, he was headed into one of his dark moods, when he again remembered the ring and looked inside. What he found there seemed to comfort him.

The king never told anyone what was inside the ring, and nor did the Fool, who received a title and lands. But after a long and wise reign, during which he frequently consulted the ring, the king died, and his eldest son, itching with curiosity, slipped the ring off his father’s finger and looked inside.

Engraved around the inside of the band were the words, “This too shall pass.”

Technorati Tags: suicide, depression, mood swings

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