I hate the kind of marketing where people interrupt me to try to sell me things I don’t want, so I’ve been studying the other kind, where you build a relationship with people, ask them what they need and then make it for them. (I just sent out a survey to my mailing list last week about a product I’m thinking of making, for example, to find out if I’m on the right lines.)
My main mentor for this has been Clay Collins. (That’s a link to his recently-reopened and about-to-close-again program, the Presell Formula, and if you have a business and want to market it more effectively, I seriously recommend you go and look – it’s great stuff, and his free preview material is more useful than a lot of people’s paid courses. If you decide to buy through that link, I also get some dollars.)
How Clay taught me a new fear-crushing technique without realising it
As part of the course, I got to have a personal mentorship call with Clay. My question for him was, “I’m thinking about partnering with some people around this free stress course I’m doing, but I’m not sure what I have to bring to them. What are your thoughts?” I mentioned a particular person who I thought of as fairly well-known.
Clay’s response startled me. “Oh,” he said, “I think you should aim way higher. I mean, people like me and her, we’re well known among a certain group of people, but we’re not globally mega-huge. Find the 5 people right at the top of your specific market, and get them together into an exclusive mastermind. Provide the leadership and get them all working together with each other and with you.”
Now, that gave me a whole new thought to be intimidated by. But the thing is – all of a sudden, the list of people I was hesitating to approach dropped into a totally different perspective where it was, by comparison, absolutely do-able.
It was like I’d said, “I’m thinking about doing some hiking in the foothills of the Himalayas, but wouldn’t I need to do a lot of training? What kind of gear should I take?” and he’d said, “Oh, you know, you really should be thinking about Everest. Everest is the way to go.”
Jaw drop. Pick up jaw. Rub jaw thoughtfully. “Oh, hey, that foothills thing seems like it would be pretty easy now.”
photo credit: A.Ostrovsky
Because I’m always looking for new techniques, I’m going to turn this into one, right here before your very eyes. Nothing up my sleeves. I’m making this up on the fly here.
1. Get a somewhat reasonable goal that intimidates you a bit – where you could probably do it but you don’t quite have the courage.
2. Go way above and beyond that goal. Think of something in the same direction that’s ridiculously huge, that wouldn’t have dared speculate about the possibility of beginning to cross your mind. Imagine it vividly.
3. Now cut back to the first thing. That thing looks pretty easy now, right?
How to crush fear
A few weeks back I interviewed my client Sarah, who’s an aspiring actress. We’ve joked about her becoming the first adult New Zealander to win the Oscar for Best Actress. (The answer to your question is, “Anna Paquin.”)
Here’s how I might use it with her:
“OK, Sarah, seriously, imagine you’re up on stage at the Kodak Theatre. Your dress is held on with tape, and Wolverine has just handed you the gold statue. Everyone’s applauding. TV audience of millions. You catch Sandra Bullock’s eye out in the audience – she was up against you, and she’s a really good actress. You know this because you can’t even see a hint on her face of what you know she is thinking, which is, “Bitch.” But you’re a good actress too, and you know she can’t see you thinking, “In your face, Bullock. This one’s mine.”
“Now about that audition next week…”
Between this example and the mountain-climbing image, I’ve decided to call this the Paramount Pictures technique. (Though I doubt I can trademark that.)
So: Nervous about speaking at your friend’s wedding? Imagine there are 10,000 people and three TV networks present. Then zoom back down to 150 friends and relatives and Uncle Al with his Handicam.
Remember I said I was surveying the people on my mailing list about a new course? It’s called Stop Procrastinating, Start Succeeding, and it’s about reaching for and achieving your dreams – not just your goals, but your dreams. It’s part of one of my dreams, the dream where I help hundreds of people to live more satisfying lives and they help others in turn by a massive release of their accumulated gloriousness. Kind of like blowing up a dam, only, you know, in a good way.
If you’d like to know more, sign up to the pre-release list for Stop Procrastinating, Start Succeeding to get early release information (and a discount).
In the comments: What dream of yours will you use the Paramount Pictures technique on?
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