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The client is a man in his late 30s, and the presenting problem a lack of self-confidence. He reported that a common situation in his life was that he would offer an opinion, someone would disagree with him, and he would feel this as a personal rejection. He seldom offered opinions as a result.
His desired outcome was to be able to let the disagreement be OK and be able to agree to disagree or discuss the issues.
He also reported that he usually did not like what he saw when looking in the mirror.
Asked about his relationships, the client reported that his parents had separated when he was 15. He got on well with both parents and his two younger sisters. He had been married twice, both times for three years, in 1991-94 and 2003-06. It was almost eighteen months since the end of his second marriage, which he had ended because he felt his wife was consistently putting him down. He stated that this had improved his life and that he was now happier.
I administered my standard questionnaire on emotions, asking about the frequency and intensity of anger, fear/anxiety, sadness/depression/hurt, guilt/shame, and happiness. He reported relatively frequent and intense feelings of guilt or shame; the other emotions were not at high levels, though he reported being happy fairly frequently.
I talked to the client about the practice of "letting go" of feelings, letting them go past like watching traffic go by on the street, and gave him a handout (the relaxation response practice). I give this to all my clients as I believe this is a useful skill for anyone to reduce stress and improve their overall ability to cope with life. I also mentioned these ideas in the subsequent hypnosis session.
After the usual discussion of hypnosis, I used my "blue sky" visualization induction, to which the client responded well with a good level of relaxation. I then suggested a street scene in which the client was at first watching another person, of his own choice, who he saw as a confident person. I suggested that the client was drawing closer and closer to this person from behind until he found himself looking out through the person's eyes at their reflection in a shop window, inhabiting their body, feeling their confident bearing, and that he then glanced away and back and saw himself reflected in the window. I then had him imagine walking off, hearing and feeling his firm steps, seeing and feeling his confident walk, and suggested two brief encounters. In the first he met someone, ventured an opinion and the person disagreed, but this was fine and they were able to discuss the issue amicably. In the second, he met someone who maliciously attempted to put him down (as he had experienced with his second wife), but again he was fine and they were not able to make him feel bad; he walked off still feeling confident and positive.
I recorded the session and gave it to the client on CD before he left, which is my standard practice, recommending that he listen to it regularly last thing at night. The client reports that he did this, and I attribute his excellent progress in part to his diligence in getting this reinforcement.
I phoned the client one week and then one month after the session, and on both occasions he reported good progress. During the first call he told me that he had been on a blind date and had been able to deal well with it. In the second call, he said he had had a degree of "relapse" to previous ways of thinking but had played the CD several times and this had helped to get him back on track. At this time I asked for his permission to write up our work as a case study, which he gave.
I contacted the client and asked him to summarize his experience, and this was his response:
It was with some scepticism that I visited Mike. I'd been to a hypnotist before with no results at all except for some confusion. But I felt hypnotism still could offer me a new and better direction, so I tried again. This time with Mike. Over the follwing weeks I noticed more and more parts of my life changing. Increased social interaction, clearer thinking and decision making at work, even more competency on the sports field. I feel like I am growing again and in the direction I've always wanted to. I wish I had done this a long time ago. Thanks Mike!
